Bear for my Mom

This is the most important picture I have posted on my blog. I am planning my visit to my mother. For those of you who have been following my story, this is the first time I will have seen her in over a year.

It is a very emotional time and another benchmark of beginnings. If you have any ideas on what you think I should get her, please email me.

Also that "I love you " message is how I feel toward all of you.

IT came

it is official. I finally received my license and got a frame for it.

Now I can write about other things. Writing about myself and my journey can get awfully boring.

However, it is exciting to explore opportunities again.

Studying tonight-NO Procrastination

"I look forward to hearing your story tomorrow, Walter." Those were the words of the Vice Dean of Minority Affairs at the University of Pennsylvania. I was referred to her by a woman who was a classmate of mine who has worked for the university ever since she graduated.

I did not think I was going to talk to Penn before some time next year but I am compelled to continue clearing away the debris that is in my way. For years I would sit in my room --and I mean for years(year after year) and get depressed thinking about the mess I would have to unsnarl. I did not think I would see myself clear for at least 2 decades./ So what did I do. I escaped more and more. More cocaine. More depression. More cocaine. I was so worried that the response would be so bad that I would procrastinate.

Yes. Procrastination. It was the very first word my father made me look up in the dictionary when I asked him what it meant. I was six years old. We were playing chess. I remembered all of this while reading the book by Stephen Carter. Chess was one of the things that I had in common with the characters.

So now I do not procrastinate. I just plow on and move forward. I have built up an internal mechanism on how not to worry about myself sick until I speak to the woman. I have become accustomed to this feeling of freedom and I want more of it.

So I will relax and talk to the dean tomorrow and she will tell me what my academic options are at Penn, if any.
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"Ms. Delaney, do you remember me? This is Walter Melton." We both laughed. She is the collection manager at Penn. She has known me for over 30 years and is the person I need to speak to to get my transripts. I never thought I would speak to anyone in that department for at least a year and never thought I could get my transcripts for at least 5 years. Of course, I thought this AFTER I stopped getting high. In fact the whole time down here on Skid Row, I thought it was impossible to ever get my transcripts and go to school. Of course those very thoughts are what drove me to make wrong decisions and bury myself in a room with a crack pipe and cocaine.

I told her everything. Cocaine and all. Did not surprise her about the cocaine because I had a reputation as a voracious party person on the campus. In fact her office is next door to La Terrasse, the restaurant/bar that I have talked about which was my office. Ms. Delaney would see me sitting at the bar holding court for years, after she got off work. In fact I took her and other members of the collection department to lunch one day when I made my first leasing commission.

It was great talking to her and as she said, her faith in me was not in vain. So tomorrow, I will speak to her. If I can not finish with a Penn degree, I am already planning to be able to finish someplace else. I am indeed surprised.

Someone said to me that I could accomplish alot in a year. He is proving himself to be very much correct in that statement. I am looking for jobs on university campuses around the state. I love college environments. That is why I was in no rush to leave the Penn environment.

However, when I was training for the triathlon at USC, I found myself in the law library studying constitutional law. My socializing was now at the swimming pool and library instead of bars and apartments around campus partying. Yes people do change.

I hope to socialize one day having coffee while discussing an essay assignment with a fellow student or with a professor. Dont tell any one though, none of my friends would ever believe it. They may even faint if told. It might be too much for them.

Must go to work and study. yes. I am outlining the book on how to write a novel. No need in procrastinating. My as well start studying now. Thanks Steve Carter and every one else

tomorrow I will write on "anger on skid row"

Man smokes crack nude in HIS tree on Skid Row

well, you guys, only on Skid Row.
I was on the phone today, talking to the University of Pennsylvania. The book, Emperor of Skid Row, along with my recent success, inspired me to continue getting my life even further on track.

I called Penn to see what I have to do to get my degree. Maybe they will let me, maybe not. I will have to see if I can transfer the credits if I can not get it from Penn. Of course I will have to figure out a deal to make because I owe them money.

I also finally got in touch with my friend Murray Spencer. Murray was one of the first people I ever met at Penn adn stuck with me through thick and then. He got his degree in architecture and his masters there as well. well. I have thought about him every day for 20 years and someone who worked at penn, who was in his class, put me in touch with him.

I was on my way to call him back when I walked outside and all of this commotion was going on.

Apparently, a man was in a tree on 5th and San Pedro. He has been living in the tree for over 7 years. Everybody sees him walk up the branches every day. Evidently
the police did not know about it. They found out about it when he lit his clothes on fire. He burned his clothes off.

He removed what was left and refused to come down out of the tree. Every few minutes you could see him light his crack pipe and blow out smoke. He was cmoking crack nude from the tree.

They have tried to hose him down and push him out. At this posting, he is still in the tree. They are negotiating with him to come down but, as he said, the tree belongs to him. He has lived in it for years.

I am surprised that I called Penn today. I woke up last night dreaming about it and decided to start working at it.


I do not know what the procedures are but after all of these years it is good to address the issue.

And look what happened, I got in touch with Murray. The University of Pennsylvania is a great family and his class embraced me from the beginning when I was being recruited my senior year in high school. Murray was always supportive and it is amazing to me that I he welcomed me back just like that. I was afraid to call him.

I am just so glad that I was able to speak to him. I could not ask for a better friend and he actually was like my brother. I never want to lose touch with him again and I do not think it is going to ever happen again. Everyday, I am restoring my relationships. IT is a beautiful thing. It is a healing thing.

They said it would happen. it is starting to happen but the amazing thing is that no one can describe the healing powers that reconnection brings. if they could, everyone would do it.

SKID ROW

still organizing and discovering

The reorganization continues. Making more headway. I am enjoying this leisurely time that is the border separating distinct periods of time, before I started this reorganization and afterwards. What I couldn't see and what I will be able to see.

What amazes me about the process is that I find old pieces of paper and I associate faces with the papers--a period of time that is associated with certain types of pain. Certain people helped me get through those times. Their faces flash in my minds eye like the names and images of soldiers that are displayed at the end of a movie.

I wonder what has happened to them. Are they ok? Did they get themselves out of the vicious cycle that most perpetually endure on Skid Row? or did they find the light and walk fearlessly toward it. I think about these men and women as I slowly put up the past and prepare for a new future

I am relaxed and I am learning how to relax more and more as each day comes and goes.

I have 100 more pages to go in the "Emperor of Ocean Park". More and more it resembles things in my life. Then it hits me. Usually with novels, I read the promotional lines from other critics and authors and decide if I am going to read the book. On this occasion I used the quotes from the critic as just an informational tool, not a promotional one. Once I saw that it involved an ivy league setting which contained other things of intimate knowledge I knew that I was going to read it.


Funny though, I am beginning to identify another concept that the critics did not mention or maybe they do not mention these things. This book is about transitions. Many transitions and how some of them can be traumatizing. I know a little bit about that kind of thing.

So I read leisurely this morning, procrastinating about cleaning the room. Oh yes, I mentioned the things I could not see before. Well, the c oncept about transitions is the kind of thing to which I am referring--the nuances, the subtleties. Those are the things that loom large in any topic or arena.

All morning long I kept hearing a man yell. He sounded like a hyena. It started at 7 in the morning and then after a while, he had an audience. He would scream and they would laugh. I must have forgotten. This is between the 1st and the 10th of the month. Everybody has checks. Everybody gets high and many people talk to themselves during the time frame. Never fails.
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My friend MIchael emailed me this morning. I was surprised to see it but it felt so good. Michael is a magician and he has helped me with so many things. He has created the attitude that things are going to be ok.
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Another friend emailed me. Hopefully she will enlightened me about the world of writing. It will be nice to have her friendship.

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Speaking of writing. Metropolis booksis having a poetry reading night. Wendy Arimah will be there along with others. Wendy is the Poet Laurete for downtownlalife.com. I would love to be there but I will be working. A man must do what a man must do.
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Well, I have lots of time left on the computer but I am going to leave. I want to enjoy this time on Sunday and stroll leisurely back to my room where I will continue my book and organization process. IT is really a rebirth process but I am sure you have gotten that by now.

I feel like I am getting ready for a big move. Clearing things out and making sure I only have to move a few things from day to day when I read, study or practice writing.

Gave some more things away. With each give away, I feel lighter.

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San Julian Street is very clean today. Usually, Sunday is the dirtiest day on Skid Row. Food is passed out graciously by donors but the recipients do not respect the street or the people that live on it. Thank God for OG, Jeff Page and the Skid Row Basketball League. They are there to clean everything up.

However, today, the LAPD is out and they are making sure the street stays clean. They are making sure, as much as they can, that people do not experience their monthly bout of mental illness by talking to themselves once they obtain their checks and by their rocks. The police do not look forward to the monthly ritual. The drug users live and some die for it. I saw a man being wheeled out of on a coroner gurney yesterday.

Some people just gather on the street to watch the show. I happen to have a front row seat of the most amazing thing.

I just turned south onto San Julian St, walking to my room.The street was packed and I stopped to speak to my friend Wesley who was standing in front of my building when he tapped me on the shoulder and pointed in a direction.

About 10 feet from us were two people--a man and a woman. 4 feet from the man stood two LAPD officers. The man was facing the officers. Suddenly the man reached in his pocket took out his crack pipe, put some crack on it and lit the pipe. He lit it right in front of the officers. I could not believe it. Wesley and I just turned and looked at each other.

Naturally, the police officers just stared at the guy. They were trying to figure out if they, indeed, saw what they thought they saw. They confirmed their suspicions when the guy blew out a cloud of smoke that invaded their nostrils.

They just told the man to turn around and they arrested him. The things I see on Skid Row.

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My Friend MIchael G. wrote me today. He and Stephen Carter finally have motivated me to resume the outlining of some constitutional law chapters. For some reason I grabbed that book and brought it down to Skid Row. I also have the Dred Scott Case book. IT is a huge paper back. Any body who thinks they know anything about Brown vs Board of Education better read that book.

Yes, I am preparing for something. What, I do not know. But, at least, it is beginning to enjoy the preparations.

good night world, I love you.

walter

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Finally I have my blender and HEALTHY FRUIT DRINKS

I had a leisurely day. after the previous blog, I struggled through discarding some more things and actually created a sizable amount of clear space.

Afterwards, I purchased my blender and some fruit and vegetables. I hurried back home and made my drinks.

I thought as much about my mixed drinks for the last two years as I thought about my mom, my license etc. I had incorporated that into my lifestyle of swimming, cycling, running, reading, writing and fruit drinks.

I missed it and two years of baloney is too much. You smell like it. It is horrible.

I Finally bought my blender and that is one more thing I do not have "TO WANT
".

I drank two portions, sat back and resumed my book. Feels good. Feels very good.