Friday, March 7, 2008

Building Blocks

This is the picture that I posted on the last night of my first year on Skid Row. That night was a special night. I did "a year in review" on that day and I searched for the perfect picture. I found this one.

It symbolized a perfect ending to a year that was filled with many challenges and pressures. Yet after it was all said and done, I was a better man for it. If you recall, there was mention that I wanted my sister to see me for what I was on her own without the influence from friends who offered to speak on my behalf. I said no.

The next day in court, 4 people spoke on my behalf, and the judge was willing to lift the complete order but there was concern from my sister. I was hurt but I soldiered on.

There was a further delay because I was in the hospital on the same day as I was suppose to be in court. With a pending court appearance that has been push back a couple of times, one of the by products of the "push backs" is that things come up that I thought were resolved. They were not and especially since my sister had her view at that time, I felt betrayed.

At night I would wake up and think about this plateau that I could not get beyond. After all, this started back in November-The chance to resume communication with family but I had to get court approval. I must say the last time I did things on my own, the court left a strong impression on me. I stayed in jail waiting for them to decide my fate. I was not going to go that route again(smile), even though my sister was in support of this new phase.

Frustration can do alot to a person. It challenges you to keep a level head and when the emotional stakes are high, one must work doubly hard to not lose balance.That concept of balance cuts across many catagories.

While waiting for the court date to come, several things have happened. Several people kept an eye on me. They kept telling me to hang in there. I kept working on my resume. I kept submitting resumes. I had a couple of interviews. Yet no offer.
"Walter, hang in there", was the echo of my support team.

I came across some unexpected opportunities and seized on them. The preparation from being diligent in other areas allowed me to capitalize immediately with contact and interviews. As you know, the Aon building is extremely symbolic of my Skid Row tenure. I am finding out that its symbolism radiates concentrically and the circles are like reverse indifference curves, each reflecting a higher state of readiness and capabilities.

After the first Aon Building interview, I was able to work on a movie set for eight days. Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I also saved money from my cans to take the continuing education course so I can renew my real estate broker's license. I was going to register online but I changed my checking account. I can not use the debit card of the old one. Why did I change my account? The bank offered me an upgrade. When I opened my account in the summer of '07, I had to be charged 10 dollars/month because I had no account for a while. It was a chance to start building my rating. The called it an Opportunity Account. Now they said I do not have to pay 10 dollars/month as long as I pay 25 dollars to savings. Of course, I had to negotiate them down from a 75 dollar/month transfer. Wow, a man must fight for every inch of progress.

The transfer done, I can now pay for my real estate course online. It has taken a month just to work out the logistics to get all of that together. Yes, indeed. A process. That was bugging me also. I felt I was getting side tracked. The "communication" issue and the real estate course issue was dragging on and on. I was not making progress. I was all too familiar with how that stagnation feels.
But I had to endure. I was making progress. I was preparing for change. The working and the coming together and the bank upgrades just took time.

The judge said I earned the opportunity to resumed my life and that the DA's office was making too many delays. I could not believe my ears when I heard him say that. Wow, it has been a long time and a long wait to here those words.

On Monday my sister emailed me to ascertain the status of my being able to write mom. I told her that I would find out this week. She emailed me back and wanted me to write mom as soon as possible, assuming all went well in court. She wished me well. I had to reread that a couple of times because it did not sound like my sister. I could not help but wonder if she was feeling well.

I went to court and came back and told my sister the news. She emailed me back. I told her about needing copy of my diploma for the job. I did not think she would help me but she emailed me back and was excited about the court decision and said she would see about finding my diploma and sending me a copy of it.

Wait a minute!!!!! Is this my sister or someone else masquerading as she? Those thoughts kept running through my head. She must be ill or something.

Now, all of this time, I was feeling that I was not taking care of a few things because I was working on the set. I learned each day some aspects of the software that I told the president of the Aon Building organization that I did not know.
Each day I chipped at it. Finally, I figured out how I wanted to piece together the
assignment.

Keep in mind that each day since last Friday, a check came in the mail for the work done on the movie set. I was going to start my real estate class yesterday but did not. I was frustrated.

Today, before I came to the library to finish this blog, I wrote mom. Felt great. My sister sounded excited to get it. I am convinced that she is not in her best health. However, it has felt great to "work together" with her the last couple of days. That is something very new.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that I walked into Tom Gilmore's office after the court hearing. I finally delivered him a resume. I met him in October of last year.
I said I did not want to leave the Aon Building. That means organizations on the same level as the one in that building if they choose not to hire me.

Even the "job position" to which I refered has possibilities because the organization is "career" in nature and the executive director is becoming acquainted with me.

So I walked to the bank today and deposited all of those checks that I received this week along with a money order that I had found that I thought I had spent.
The balance surprised me. The process of depositing those checks is a part of the getting in shape process. Another step in going through the University of Skid Row curriculum.

Now I am sitting at the Little Tokyo library. The last few weeks have been packed with events. Some friends have left comments at very crucial moments, moments when I needed words of encouragement. I thank all of you.

Yes, I feel the spirit as well.

I put this picture on this blog because I feel very much the same way as I felt on February the 6, when I posted the picture the first time, the last night of my first year on Skid Row. I was at peace that night. I am at peace tonight and furthermore, I feel that things are happening.

A person, left a comment to me when I first started blogging. She said that my blog was interesting and for me to keep writing. She told me it was nothing wrong in being honest. She is my photo critic. I wonder what her impressions are of this photo. It is kaleidoscopic in range and depth. It states many things.

I cleared away alot of things that were on my plate and went through alot of doors that I had been trying to open and close behind me for a long time. I went through them and a few others that I did not know where there for me to pass through. Now I can concentrate on the Aon assignment and be ready for my presentation, completely on Monday. I will be thinking of my photo critic and advisor this weekend. Thank you very much.

Thank all of you for your respective and collective contributions for assisting me to get this point. I saw a lot of things during this week. Some people went backwards. Some went forward.

I saw a scene that was done this week. It taught me alot about how to create dramatic effect. I can not mention it because it would not be appropriate. Suffice it to say that I think Joe Wright for teaching me a great deal and soon his movie will teach many others.

Time to go. The week is not over. I must go to class. Each Friday, I get on my bicycle and ride to the other side of the Harbor(110) freeway to go to my court ordered class. I go past Broadway and go through the heart of the newly created Downtown Skyline. I pass the Aon Building. I will think of my assignment and look forward to walking through that door. I will think of my photo critic as I go by the Aon building. She has, indeed, taught me a great deal. I wonder who she is.

Time to go. Must make more progress. Must end the week strong. I felt like I have taken the second round of midterms of this semester at the University of Skid Row.

Funny isnt it. Building something. Time will tell what it is.

Good night world. I love you

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