Monday, January 28, 2008

Evolvement

it is early Monday morning. I woke up at about 4:30AM and decided to get to work. I planned on doing some organizing chores yesterday but instead I went to a private screen of an independent movie. It is another in an increasing line of activity and exposure to positive things once again.
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It is nice to sit in this room in the dark with the door closed and feel my thoughts and communicate them. This computer has been acting like it has some sense lately. As a result, I can check on things, research things and communicate things. It makes for more efficient use of my time while I have the use of this
functioning communication wonder.
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I shot photos all day Saturday. Took over 100 of them. What started out as a journey to take pictures of Downtown LA evolved into a learning session of creating art within the photos.

Evolvement. That is the operative word. I am slowly accepting the fact that I am evolving and it is taking hold. I am glad of that. My attitude has evolved. My discipline has evolved. My activities are evolving.

I am becoming more postive. I used to dwell on the things that were negative that were negative. I was consumed by things that could hold me back. I could not see that I had a lot of postive things in me, about me that could propel me into a bright future.

Of course my circumstances, much of which I created over a ten year period created alot of that attitude but I am beginning to take up where I left off before all of these events happened. I am taking up where I left off in october 2006. I had been training for two years. I had been studying for the same length of time: english, math, science, constitutional law, physics.

I was asscociating concepts from one discipline to another.
I changed my life and I was beginning the process of changing the environment. I was turning a house into a home.

Things happened. For now, I am not there.
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I kept struggling and fighting and now I am where I am. There is a strong sense of anticipation that has been born. Where and when the seeds were planted, I do not know. I surmise that it has come from 10 years of work and one year of confusion and pain. It has come from the endless efforts of those who have encouraged me-who fought to keep me fighting. I am grateful for them.
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I said that I would become more honest as I became more comfortable with this medium. What I did not know was that I would become more honest as I became aware of things about which to be more honest:about me, about things as they are revealed.
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I must head out to Broadway. There is a Mayor's conference. The last time I was at a Mayor's conference, that event turned into a job offer. Lets see what this experience will bring. I will update everyone on the conference as soon as it terminates.

Good Morning, Downtown Los Angeles

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