I sit at this computer, frozen. It is the only thing that gives me hope. I keep reading that comment.
Somebody cares about me. Somebody really cares about me.
This time last year, I was in jail. I was totally cut off from everything I ever knew. Increasingly I felt nobody in the world cared about me. In jail, I learned that people care about you, "seasonally". Once they leave, they forget about you. In jail, you care about eachother to survive. When you leave you move on. Especially in my case because, there are few reasons that I would interact with the men with whom I met in jail.
They taught me alot, no doubt. How to move on is the biggest lesson. I am still learning.
However, today, know that at least 6 people care about me. That is more than I had a few months ago.
I want to start a chat room so that people can go to it and know that people care.
People in Skid Row tell me all of the time that they have no one. I have grown to understand how they feel. Yesterday, while filling out a medical form, I was to put in a name to contact in the case of an emergency.
I put in no name. My mom wants to contact me but the courts say no. My sister, I believe, would feel
annoyed if contacted. I do not blame her. She is hurt that I did drugs. Somethings she confuses but I understand. I am learning. My old friend taught me some more after I found out he does not want to talk to me. That is ok. I will move on. I will try to help talk about how things are downtown, about the people that I see suffering. There are people who are suffering in their victories as well.
I must go. I must call a friend who keeps me pushing. Maybe he heard from the developer that I met. Maybe I can talk to him about working. It is a long shot but I shall give it my best shot.