Friday, December 21, 2007
barbara and a morning update
this is Barbara. barbara is a painter on Skid Row. Each week she arrives at 5th and San Julian to paint oil paintings. She has completed 32 paintings on that corner. Don Garza, of Skidrowbroadcasting.com, did an interview with her about her art and what is happening on Skid Row.
Don is a little worried about me. He knows I had a hard day yesterday.
I am at the Little Tokyo Library. I did a long post but I hit the wrong key and it vanished, totally. I could not find it. After that, I strolled to
Gladys Park to see the Skid Row Basketball league championship game.
As you know, I did my first article for blogdowntown covering the league. Therefore I had to go support it. I went but my heart just was not there so I wandered back here.
I had not walked two blocks when I saw a horrible sight. I met this trans gender man when I first arrived on Skid Row. He was changing himself into a woman. He was in a drug program while he was taking hormones, etc. Each time I saw him his body was changing. Breasts were developing and his hips were becoming larger.
He relapsed. I heard he relapsed badly. I just saw him and he did not eve3n recognized me. I never saw anyone who looked that bad after doing drugs. It scared me to even try to talk to him. IT is my guess that he lost over 15o pounds.
I asked some people if I should wait to present my sister with a proposal. They think I should wait until I get a couple of things in place. I may have some luck with that pretty soon. We will see.
Everybody seems pretty cheerful on Skid Row. It surprises me. I do not know what is normal down here during the holiday season but it is good to see that people are in fine spirits. Many people are getting into cars and leaving. They are going to see their families. In that respect, Skid Row is like a big college campus. There are people who have been invited to have Christmas dinner with their family members after progressing in certain programs. One man was told to pack his bag by his sister. He was going home for good. I was standing there when she told him the news. Moments before, he was trying to uplift my spirits. He knows how much I want to go home. He wanted to go home. He thought he would never be able to return home. For some reason he believes my sister will forgive me for doing drugs and clear the way for me.
I do not know what to think but I was glad to see that he was going home for good. I went upstairs to his room and helped him pack. We both shed tears. He shed them because he was finally going home. They finally forgave him for doing drugs. I shed tears for two reasons: I was happy that John was going home but I was being left behind. It hurt real badly, especially when I know my mother wants me there.
It is just one of those things. Everyone says I should feel good about doing good things for people on Skid Row. I do but it is not the same thing. I feel like I am nothing without my family. That is why I moved back to California-to be with family.
I am terribly grateful that I can spend Christmas with the Royce family. I had wanted to spend Christmas with them. I did not think I would get invited. It was a gift from heaven. They are such a fine family and great friends. I do not know how God sent them to me. I have these two paper dolls that were given to me by their kids, Reilly and McKenna. They are the greatest gifts in the world. I look at them all of the time as they are on my wall. One day, maybe, I will be able to pack them up and take them home.
Funny, I was thinking about blogging and internet tv. I firmly believe that I could build up somethings. I really do. It would be fun.
My writing is not sharp these days. I am finding it hard to be creative or imaginative in my sentence structure. The emotions are too strong these days.
I must sign off. My computer time is about to terminate. I will not be able to find a computer until tomorrow or Monday. Dam, I hope I can post a blog tomorrow.
I am not covering so much news as I am covering my journey these days. I want to share every moment with people. I need to feel all of the positive energy out there.
Indeed, I just might get this online writing position or the marketing associate position. I hope to find some more to go after but I like these two jobs. lets see what happens. I will hang in there.
Hopefully we will be broadcasting tomorrow. I must check with Garza
good afternoon world.
I love you.