Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Breaking through barriers

This picture is another one that was taken at the bloggers on ice party.
These lights are on a lamp post in Pershing Square. They form a bugler. I thought they were very nice and represent the Christmas spirit well.


I would like to thank Pamela for the very nice thing she said about me. IT uplifted my spirits. Furthermore, she actually saw my blog. I don't think anyone reads my blog. It felt good to see her comment. thank you.

I finally broke through the psychological barriers that prevented progress on the room. It is finished. I am organized. It is a funny thing about being organized. I am not used to it down here.

It is essential to be organized at this new level. Potentially, there are opportunities of which I may be able to avail myself. However, I must put myself in the game. I can not do that unless I clear the mind from the past--not put myself down and plunge forward into the unknown. It is easy to not risk being rejected and to stay in a rut. I was telling someone today, that I felt less secure, this year, each time I advanced to a new level. Why? Simple. At the new level you risk failure. You do not know what is going to happen. You fear the worst.
You already know how it feels to be where you are. IT may be frustrating but you are used to it. It is hard to explain. People sabotage progress because you are in
the "unknown" zone.

I guess the same thing happens when someone chases someone away when they meet someone and find out they have feelings for the person. Maybe they have not had a relationship in a long time. Maybe the last relationship caused pain. Maybe they are scared to risk being happy because they are so used to being alone.

Going for it at each stage this year is like that. I have to realize that when I procrastinated, I was unconsciously settling for what I was alreasy familiar until I could not stand it. Fortunately, I learned alot about that breaking through barriers when I trained for the triathlon. Training for that, I retrained myself. Rebuilt myself. That is the reason why I speak about that process so much.
I discarded negative things and acquired new things, all of which were intangible so tangible and vital to the process of progressing in life.

I broke through the barriers the last week. I kept at it. It was rough but I did it. I put it behind me so now I do not have to think about it everyday. I bought those shoes so I do not have to think about buying new shoes. I do not have to think about being a new person. I am BEING the new person with each incremental action.

I applied for a job a month ago. They finally called me. The ball is in my court.
I have to write something. I cleared my mind. I threw away the excuses that prevented the CHANCE of victory. I will sit down tonight and write the essay. I will put myself in the game. Each time I see a posting, I will respond now. I will not talk myself out of success. Something will happen sooner or later for me.
I am enjoying the self healing process of putting myself in the game.
Sometimes it is more important than a job offer. Sometimes the most important game is the one with oneself. If you win that one, you can win anything.

I put alot behind me. The smallest things help me to continue the process. The comment from Pamela helped tremendously for me to push forward. I have received so much kindness like that. Thanks everyone.

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