Please read this about false accusations from alzheimer's patients. Please. It says just what I said. I just started trying today because it is thanksgiving. Do not let alzheimers patients become the tool for ambitious people to further their cause and hurt the alzheimer's victim and their families. read this article.
Thanks Don Garza for showing me how to link things. I have only begun to fight.
http://www.healthpropress.com/store/sifton-9047/excerpt.htmmore of numerous other unjust accusations:
You are a thief. I had $100 in my purse and now there isn’t any money.
I know why you are always going out. You are meeting some other man.
I am not eating that. I know what you are up to. You are trying to poison me so that you will get my money.
You are just the worst daughter in the world. You never come to visit your poor old mother.
These stinging comments cut to the core and not only hurt you but also make you furious. And so they should. These feelings are completely natural and offer no reason for guilt. The challenge is figuring out how to act on these feelings. Although all feelings are valid, not all actions are. If a person with a healthy brain hurls such accusations at you, you may well be justified in returning anger with anger, in standing up for what is true. However, when the person has dementia, it is necessary to count to 10 and step into his or her world to understand where these comments are coming from.
In the preceding vignette, a look into Felicia’s eyes gave Jennifer a window into Felicia’s damaged brain. Jennifer realized that this was not the healthy, reasonable person she once knew who was speaking to her in this way. Felicia and others with dementia have damaged brains and are trying to make sense of the world. At times, the faulty brain leads to faulty reasoning and faulty logic. Seeing the pile of laundry may have led Felicia to worry about how she was possibly going to get it all done, which led her to turn in fury on Jennifer, the nearest likely cause. Undoubtedly, the distress of being unable to care for her dying son played a part in Felicia’s feelings of frustration. Jennifer had the grace and the wisdom to realize that this outpouring was coming from a damaged brain, not from genuine ill will and malice. Although the comments were profoundly painful, she chose to act out of understanding and empathy rather than out of the hurt and anger she rightly felt.
Reacting with empathy is very hard, but what a difference it makes. Suppose that Jennifer followed her natural instinct to make a heated retort about how hard she was working, in order to set the record straight. It is unlikely that Felicia would understand or believe that this was so, leading both she and Jennifer to become still more heated and angry. This would have been a lose-lose situation because the two women would then become even more upset and frustrated. Instead, Jennifer’s response allowed Felicia to feel that she had made her point, which helped Felicia to calm down. The women restored their relationship and expressed feelings with a hug and some tears. To deal with her own feelings, later that night, Jennifer shared her hurt and insight with her husband John.
The damage to the brain is mostly observed as changes in behavior. When a person has a stroke, arthritis, or Parkinson’s disease, the paralyzed hand, the gnarled joints, or the tremor makes it obvious that there is a physical problem. The damage caused by dementia is inside the brain, but what people actually see are changes in behavior. Because the damaged brain cannot be seen, it can appear as if the person is trying to be deliberately aggravating. Although this is certainly not the case, it can nonetheless be frustrating. This is made worse by daily and even hourly fluctuations and by the variability in losses from one skill to another. For instance, the person may charmingly answer the door to a perfect stranger and then urinate in the trash can or put the garbage in the refrigerator. Although it is frustrating